hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
