idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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