You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
