he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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