Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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