Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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