i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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