Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

Fav 8 4309 760
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

Fav 40 4711 846
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?

Fav 17 4975 803
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

Fav 19 5313 1629
share tweet
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

Fav 22 7077 2073
share tweet
(971): View more from Oregon

Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.

Fav 6 2456 1988
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.

Fav 2 1931 1449
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.

Fav 1 925 503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b

Fav 0 278 347
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT