I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.