she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
