I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I touched a dick in church today
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
