So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
