i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
