she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
