ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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