Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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