i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
