He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
