I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
