I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
vagina is talking i cant
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
