I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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