I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
