here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
