Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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