garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
