Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize