he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
