I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Michael Bay diarrhea
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
