I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
