he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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