so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
