I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
