it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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