Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
