He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
