just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
