I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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