What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
