I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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