Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
