Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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