it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
