We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
