Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
