How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
