don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
