My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
