She's JV to your varsity
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
