I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
