You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
