I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
