the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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