Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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