Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
