remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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