party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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