You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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