So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
