My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
