ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
