you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
